I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You dont lie about slip and slides
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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