I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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