sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Farmville is her only friend.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
