he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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