so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
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Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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