To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Please, let me fuck your mom
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
