You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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