the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
