we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
