I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
