playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
