Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
