Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
