It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
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sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
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this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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