dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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