sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
false alarm. still invincible.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
