why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
