I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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