I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
