Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
