PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
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i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
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I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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