I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
