I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
