The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
