He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
