I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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