i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
