if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
