some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
