TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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