Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
