the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
they need to just BURY HIM!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
