she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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