There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
