I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
