He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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