That's intense
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
