This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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