It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
