we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
