Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
