do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
