It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
