I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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