I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Pooping to opera.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize