Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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