I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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