GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
