I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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