Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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