I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
