you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
