I wish I only lived at night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
