Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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