I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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