My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
worst night to have a conscience
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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