her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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