Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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