Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
