the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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