So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
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I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
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In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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